Topic 6.5: Choosing a mentor, being a mentor, and building a mentoring relationship
Like coaching, the mentoring relationship is one of support and guidance. The term ‘Mentor’ is drawn from Greek mythology (The Odyssey of Homer). Mentor was Odysseus’ friend, who was felt to be responsible enough and experienced enough to care for the warrior’s son during the battle of Troy.
This conjures images of a seasoned expert providing guidance and a helping hand to a far less experienced individual to help them avoid the pitfalls and challenges ahead. In modern workforces, mentors are similarly seen as experienced and wise individuals who have something of themselves to offer to those coming behind them. It’s important to note that many successful leaders, when asked to comment on their success, will point to their mentors that modelled behaviours, provided guidance and encouragement, as a key factor in their career progression.
In thinking about mentoring, it’s important to consider that we can all be mentors at different times and in different roles in our lives and work. So, considering principles of mentoring is useful as both mentee and mentor.
So it is apparent that at an individual level, leaders see mentoring as critical; however in many organisations, the capacity to provide a structured framework for mentoring opportunities is more challenging given the constrains of time and business pressure.
The Robert Walters recruitment organisation notes five benefits of having a mentor:[1]
| Connect and network | A mentor can provide you with access to key industry contacts that may be interested in what your organisation has to offer. This could be introducing you to new clients which can bring future benefit to your role and organisation. Having access to new industry contacts can also offer you with additional skills and advice that you may not have previously known or had access to. |
| Provide you with knowledge | As you navigate the next step in your career having a mentor can give you some real-life insights into their experiences. A mentor can help you get up to speed quicker on learnings and advice they have gained throughout their career and provide you with expertise to not make the same mistakes. Listening is important when it comes to a mentor-mentee relationship so you can put into practice what they teach you. |
| Set SMART goals for yourself | Your mentor will help you to set goals against agreed time frames. Together you should set realistic (SMART) goals that are both clear and achievable as to provide you with a clear path of progression and outline what success looks like.
Therefore, what information you share with your mentor will be important to ensure you are on the right track for your personal and professional development. As you progress through your mentoring journey – it is also important to celebrate wins along the way. Some goals will be big, some smaller but it’s important to celebrate success when it comes. Your end target might seem a long way of but it’s the little wins along the way that will get you closer to your goals! |
| Keep you on track | One of the benefits of a mentor is having someone to keep you on track and remind you that you have the skills to succeed. Your mentor will help motivate you and provide an unbiased point of view should you start to feel unsure or off-track against the goals you have agreed and set. |
| A trusted voice outside of work | At some point you may come across a work situation where you need advice and asking a person who has been there before, like your mentor, is going to give you the best insights. Your mentor may not have had the same job as you previously but will have experience in office situations, the dynamic of work colleagues and making changes in careers.
A mentor can help you get up to speed quicker on learnings and advice they have gained throughout their career and provide you with expertise to not make the same mistakes. Listening is important when it comes to a mentor-mentee relationship so you can put into practice what they teach you. It is important to establish a time to meet and stick to that time. Your mentor-mentee relationship must have mutual respect and trust to be successful. This usually starts with committing to a time, sticking to that time and being open to adjustments if needed. |
Of course, it should also be noted that many believe that mentoring is an opportunistic endeavour – that it cannot be ‘forced’ if the relationship between the mentor and mentee is not strong and based on respect and trust. There is certainly, however, a growing body of evidence to demonstrate the importance of senior leaders taking on the accountability of mentoring tomorrow’s talent.
For most modern organisations, mentoring programs are seen to have benefits at three different levels. Firstly, for the person being mentored, the relationship provides guidance and support in terms of an ongoing career pathway. For the mentor, who may often be a very senior member of the organisation, the role provides acknowledgement of their contribution to the company as well as the mental stretch sometimes missing for those looking to transition to the next phase in their work and life. For the organisation, the mentoring relationship cements networks across the workforce, reinforcing the importance of building a leadership community.
Like coaching, mentoring is a relationship based on mutual agreements and grounded in conversations. The difference primarily is that, in a mentoring relationship, the mentee wants to gain all they can about the mentor’s path to success so they actively want to learn from the experience of the mentor during most discussions.
Core Skills and Abilities of the Mentor
There are many similarities between the skills and attributes of mentors and coaches. Importantly, mentors must be able to…
- demonstrate technical and people leadership;
- share experiences and stories effectively;
- engender enthusiasm;
- listen and communicate effectively;
- identify opportunities for mentees to stretch themselves;
- recognise the best/potential in others;
- act as a role model for professional practice;
- support mentees in managing and navigating career turbulence;
- provide constructive feedback;
- challenge, analyse and evaluate mentee’s practice;
- view problems differently to the mentee and challenge assumptions.
Cautions of the mentoring relationship…
To avoid any pitfalls or stumbling blocks, make sure that you
- Create a structure that works for both of you
- Highlight potential challenges up front
- Don’t get too personal – this is not a counselling relationship!
- Keep confidences and make an explicit agreement upfront to do so!
Sometimes a simple checklist, completed by the mentee at the start, can help to get the ball rolling. We have attached a sample for your info, though sometimes mentoring is less ‘formal’ in its documentation to a coaching relationship.
As part of the preparation process for finding a mentor for yourself, it is important to consider your own needs. These include your career interests, your expectations of the mentoring relationship and the benefits you hope to gain from this process. Also, it will help us with our first conversation.
As managers, you may often shift between a coaching and mentoring relationship with some of your people – particularly when undertaking performance or career discussions. The important thing is to recognise when each process will be of most value and how to apply the skills appropriately to maximise the benefits to your people.
| Career Goals | What are your goals at present in terms of your career vision? |
| Professional Interests | What are your main interests/skills with regard to your current role? |
| Personal Expectations | What are your expectations in terms of your gains from this mentoring relationship? |
| Frequency of Meetings | How do you see the relationship working in terms of frequency and style of meetings? |
| My Role as Mentor | What knowledge, experience and skills do you see me being able to share as your mentor? |
| Cautions | What if any are the things we need to be mindful or cautious of in terms of our mentoring relationship? |
Mentoring is a relationship. It’s a trust and respect based conversation in which both parties must be open to sharing, learning and challenging. It requires an appropriate level of vulnerability. The video interview with Dr Geoff Abbott, Director of Executive Coaching at the QUT Graduate School of Business, looks at the similarities and differences between coaching and mentoring, along with some suggestions about initiating a mentoring relationship.
Required Video
10 min
In our workshops, we probably discussed different experiences of mentoring (and coaching) and our own roles as mentors to others. As self-awareness and self-development are important pre-requisites for a successful mentor, the work you have done in these six modules should have helped equip you to:
a) make the most of being mentored; and
b) be a good mentor to others who are committed to self-development. And that, for all of us, is an ongoing journey – one that we don’t have to take alone.
- Robert Walters. (2022). Why a mentor will enhance your career in 2022. Robert Walters. https://www.robertwalters.com.au/career-advice/Why-a-mentor-will-enhance-your-career-in-2022.html ↵